Communicate!

Through several experiences of counseling, and Facebook arguments in the last month or three, it's come to my attention:

Texting and messaging (T&M) is a REALLY bad way to carry on a meaningful relationship.  Let me explain.

T&M emphasizes your say, and de-emphasizes what the other person is saying.

 - you can read much quicker than you can text.  So you tend to give much less time and attention to what the other person is saying.

 - you have time to think through what you are going to say - go back and delete/edit.  So you tend to give much MORE time and attention to what YOU are saying.

 - you can say/text what you want at any time, regardless of what the other person is doing.  WE GET USED TO THIS, and take it into our in-person conversations.  I say what I want, when I want, instead of deferring to the other person.

This is a bad rodeo.  In-person conversation forces you to listen more to the other person.

Not interrupt impatiently.

Not prioritize what you want to say.

T&M is great for quick, low-resolution relaying of basic information.  

But if you need to 

 - forge a friendship, or a marriage with your spouse, or 

 - work through a disagreement, or 

 - shape your worldview with a mentor, 

then set up a time to meet and talk in person.