On Gender Wars

Had a good conversation with friends recently, about the gender wars.

 

A 2-year-old girl was running around with a pink “My Little Pony.”  She put it down, and moved on to something else.  Her 1-year-old little brother picked it up and ran around with it for a while.

 

I took the opportunity to mention that many conservatives would be very concerned by this behavior, but we didn’t seem to be.  If it was his 13 year old brother, that would be a different story.  But too many conservatives are freaking out if any child, however young, ever shows any hint of interest in behavior associated with the other gender.  Coming down hard against it is a really bad idea.  Teach your children lovingly and patiently.  Save the harder words for the drag queen down at your library.

 

God’s design in our sexuality is far more mysterious, delightful, and nuanced than we think.  The conservative rule of thumb seems to be turning into, “Allow no hint of feeling or acting against the caricature of your biological gender.”  On the contrary, it’s a joy to see very masculine young men in our church holding their 6-week-old sons.  Sure, they hold them differently than their mothers do.  But they hold them.

 

Scripture speaks of nursing fathers (Isaiah 49:23, KJV).  Of God as a comforting mother (Isa. 66:13).  This insistence that boys be boys and girls be girls, and never the twain shall meet, just isn’t realistic.  There are times a man is called to nurture and comfort.  There are times a woman is called to be decisive and take action. 

 

Gender is a Venn diagram, where the 2 circles overlap a little bit.  Not all the way.  I’m not advocating for blurring it all into androgyny.  Just don’t freak out if your son isn’t into hunting, or if your daughter enjoys sports.  I sense a rising conservative generation poised to foist specific interests on their children because of their sex, and that’s a really bad idea.

 

The question transgender advocates love to ask is devious and demonic, because it is a half-truth: “Why not let your child explore their gender?”  What they imply is that everyone should be free to define their gender regardless of their biology, which is wrong.  But there SHOULD be a certain level of exploration of life roles as children play in their early years.  Parents shouldn’t stifle innocent exploration.  They can clearly and kindly define when a child is crossing the line, without unloading a Matt Walsh rant on them. 

 

It all happens within biblical guardrails. 

Men should not be effeminate.  Women should not pursue masculinity.