On Church Discipline

I’ve found it helpful recently to put down in words my view of church discipline.  After 15 years in pastoral ministry this continues to be a thorny topic, to think through biblically and carefully.

 

Church discipline is…

 

1. Necessary

The Reformers tended to call church discipline the third mark of church.  If you don’t have it, denominations and churches will “slouch toward Gomorrah,” as Robert Bork put it.  Another apt analogy is that the lack of discipline is like a body with AIDS.  You can’t fight off disease and infection without white blood cells, and you can’t stay faithful, and keep worldliness out of the church, without some exercise of church discipline (1 Cor. 5:6).  Many see the very act of church discipline as antithetical to the Gospel, and cruel and unusual punishment, but done correctly it is an act of love.

 

 

2. … not just ex-communication

Most people think only of the negative side when they think of discipline. 

But there is a positive side.  It happens when –

 - you notice everyone around you at church singing a little more robustly than you tend to, so you sing louder, too

 - you see a father diligent to correct his children when the church is worshiping or fellowshipping, and it convicts you to be more diligent in your own parenting.

 - you hear a church member pray fervently, and it prompts you to deepen your own prayer life.

We vastly underestimate this positive side of discipline!  Discipleship is closely related to discipline.

But formal church discipline refers to leadership barring a member from receiving the Lord's Supper for a time (suspension), or indefinitely (excommunication).  The point is to declare that the member is clearly and egregiously acting as an unbeliever, so the church declares them to be so.  Even if they protest otherwise.

 

 

3. …relationship-rich, ideally

The above positive discipleship aspect of discipline assumes that you are meeting regularly with a group of believers you think you can learn and grow from being a part of.  You have to make yourself known, and seek to know others.  This is awkward, and we’re not very good at it.  Much grace is needed with each other.  The whole world seems to be running the other way, to more isolation.  Even shopping and pursuing hobbies happen online now.  This only began in human history 10-20 years ago, and it is, frankly, weird and dehumanizing.  The church must be a place where we know each other incarnationally.  In person.  Some of us re-learned this during Covid.

The more relationship-rich the context, the easier it is to accept criticism.  Few receive criticism well, and fewer yet know how to deliver it gracefully.  I don't even claim to be one of those.  But if we know and trust each other, we should be able to hear each other's constructive criticisms.

 

One of the greater challenges of church leadership in this area, is what to do with people who stop coming to church.  There’s no more relationship there, which makes conversation, admonition, and discipline harder.  As Christians, one way to honor our church leaders is to make sure that we can give glad submission to their accountability.  If you cannot, for some reason, a conversation is needed.  Very often, people won’t meet with their leaders, because it is just too awkward to sit down and say, “I disagree with you on this or that, so I can’t trust you to discipline me rightly.”  Instead, people often just leave, or make up some other reason why they are going somewhere else.  This is not honest, and it honors your church leaders most, to depart from them for a place where you CAN submit to leadership, and tell them why.  More on this below, under Divisive.

 

 

4.  …repentance-dependent (2 Cor. 7:10-12)

Demonstrated repentance requires a fairly close relationship to discern.  The offender needs to be willing to express it, and act on it.  True and deep repentance will be clear and obvious (2 Cor. 7:10-11).  Sincere but stumbling efforts at repentance are less obviously true, and can look like a counterfeit.  But leaders need to not be too skeptical that repentance is real, based on the egregiousness of the sin, or on the history of the offender.  Give it time.  But don’t keep a member barred from the table for months if they have expressed repentance and you’ve seen some real change, just to “make sure.”  This is the same error as the credo-baptist who won’t baptize the kids until they are 16 or 21, to “make sure.”

 

 

5.  … time-sensitive – patient, but urgent

When a 2-year-old sins, it does little good for mom to say, “Just wait until your father comes home.”  Often Christians who want to be gracious, and not appear strict or harsh, will wait too long to confront someone about a problem, or let the process of discipline drag on too long.  Formal church leadership can do this, too.  “Hey, just giving you a call.  You haven’t been in church for a year.”  Should have asked 9 months ago!

 

On the other side of the spectrum, leadership can act out of indignation or offense, and act too quickly, when it is not necessary to do so.  Patience is critical, but timely responses are, too.  I’ve noticed that negative spiritual choices or developments often happen much more rapidly in a person than church leadership meets to consider them.  If a pastor isn’t staying in touch and on top of things, it quickly gets beyond remedy.  (This is not to say that all spiritual shipwrecks can be avoided if leadership is faithful in working against it.)

 

 

5a.  … sometimes should be immediate

There are times when sin that requires discipline is public and scandalous, and requires immediate action.  Scandalous is a rather vague adjective, so care is needed here.  But if

 - a church leader’s adultery, abuse, or heresy is plain and public, then leadership ought not wait 6 months to work through a 5-step process before taking action to remove him.

 - a member comes out proudly on Facebook, embracing sexual immorality, then rather immediate suspension from the Lord’s Table is warranted (not required – this is a judgment call of leadership), in conjunction with reaching out to the person.  I lean toward waiting for a response from the person, but if the issue is well known, obvious sin, and people are wondering if leadership is fine with it, action is needed.

 

 

6.  … communication-rich

When parents discipline their children, they need to explain why, age-appropriately.  It’s the same for church discipline.  Elders should quickly and clearly communicate to people the concerns they have regarding them, and any steps they are taking.  This should happen at every step of the process, right up to the last.  Give a full description of the sin, with Scripture references, and what it would look like to turn away from it.

 

What often happens instead is that the elders shake their heads together at the benighted member without relaying their concerns adequately to the person.  Or maybe the member fears what the elders are going to do, so the member just bolts for the exit.  If we would stay and talk to each other, we could learn much from each other.  But we often hold back, either because trust has been lost, or because we are afraid of what the response from the other side will be.  I’ve heard this more than once, from church leaders: we didn’t communicate our concern to them, because we feared their response would escalate the situation.  Or from members: we were sure the elders wouldn’t understand or listen.  Elders can wrongly hold back communication in various ways, to avoid a negative response.  Members can wrongly hold back communication in various ways, like not relaying how bad their situation really is.

 

 

7.  … divisive

This one is the most discouraging, in my experience.  When people dispute the discipline their church gives them, it often spills out into the rest of the church.  It’s very easy to believe these days, that leaders have been harsh or abusive!  And maybe they have been.  It’s very important to have multiple leaders in place to check any one leader who might go off the rails.  And we need procedures in place to appeal such things, to deal with that.

Sometimes what comes into play, for members under discipline, is history.  “This is OUR church, and MY church needs to see it my way – to vindicate me, not correct me.  And if the leaders won’t, then I’ll get MY people to side with me.”  This is dangerous, and a divisive man should be warned, then rejected (Titus 3:10).

 

 

8.  ... meant only for high-handed, egregious sin

If my friend goes to a casino to meet a friend for dinner, many strict believers would call that an appearance of evil, or outright sin.  A church should not excommunicate someone for such questionable matters.  If a Session asks a member to do a small thing, and they refuse, excommunication is not the proper response.  Many tight-shoed leaders in my circles emphasize this truth: church discipline is always for contumacy (stubborn refusal) against the leaders.  While that is true, it doesn't mean that any act of contumacy requires discipline, to preserve the authority of the Session.  Nor does any strong disagreement, or personality clash, or personal conflict, or act of refusal to a Session, always rise to a level to warrant discipline.  Many times the best response is to agree to disagree, or to part amicably, instead of having the church declare a person unregenerate and outside of Christ.

9.  … aimed at restoration (Philemon 12; 2 Cor. 2:7)

Discipline in the civil realm is often needed simply to do justice, or to restore what was wrongfully taken.  But if we stop there, in the church, we have lost sight of the bigger goal.  Jesus underwent the discipline of the Father on the cross for a greater purpose: to restore fellowship and reconciliation of us sinners with God.  When true repentance is obvious, affirmation and forgiveness should be quickly extended.

 

So when church leaders need to pursue members in discipline, they do so wisely when they always provide a path back to righteousness (2 Cor. 7:8-9).  Instead of simply rebuking people for their errors, it’s important to show them specifically the right way to go.  Encourage them to take it.  And let them know there will be celebration and rejoicing on behalf of the whole church, if they do so.

 

With no shame or condemnation whatsoever.

 

Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. ²³ And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; ²⁴ for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ (Luke 15:22-24).