It's Good to Be a Man

It's Good to Be a Man: A Handbook for Godly Masculinity, Embrace the Masculine Man that God Created, Inspiring Christian Books for Men by Michael Foster
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A solid book. Short, to the point, and clear.
Boys need to grow up, take responsibility, and pursue God’s calling on their lives. This involves virtue, vocation, friendship, and marriage. Men need to learn how to be strong, as this is their calling. (They don’t really say this, but strength – not just physical – is how men serve others around them.) Exhortations to endure adversity and work hard are the heart and strength of this book. But the authors do not overlook a reliance on God’s grace to see themselves as sons of a loving Father. Men are earners in the world, but no one earns God’s favor by being manly. We become godly men because we have God’s favor.

The chapter on the effeminate church is the longest, I think, and quite good. In music style, pastor behavior, and much else, the church is catering to a feminine mindset that turns away men.

The writing style is direct, suited well for men. I appreciated the concise simplicity.

Yet, on this subject of men’s and women’s roles, I am prone to want to nuance things carefully, which this book doesn’t do. I don’t fault them much for this – it needed to be a concise and simple book. But my biggest concern is that young men read this and get the wrong idea. Exhorting men to be wise and strong by saying there is a uniquely masculine way to manifest these, can imply that women are less called to their own sorts of wisdom and strength. Or even that they are called to other virtues altogether. Must the man supply all wisdom and strength for his wife and family?

Frankly, there are times a husband relies on his wife’s strength or wisdom, and this book seems to rule that out of the question. “Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted” (Isaiah 40:30). The famous next verse doesn’t say if they wait on the Lord that will never happen, but that their strength will be renewed, will return. When a wife strengthens her husband as he flags in discouragement, wisdom, or foresight, it isn’t some perversion of God’s design. It IS God’s design. She is a helper in these things, not just in caring for children and home. She tends him, even as he tends her. There must be a way to exhort men to godliness without implying “It’s all up to you.” When a father flags or fails, in certainly leaves an imprint, yet God’s grace can supply the lack.

A key theme is a man’s mission, and the same dynamic applies. Foster and Tennant get it basically right that his mission should be more front and center than it tends to be. But is it right to imply that marriage is subordinate to his mission? One can make a biblical case for this: the woman was given to the man to help him be fruitful and multiply. But this can easily be distorted to “My career comes before my marriage.” And what if the man’s mission/vocation changes over time?

But the authors are right that generally speaking a man should provide strength, a mission, wisdom, and more for his family. The authors do well in urging them on to this, and I recommend this book.

View all my reviews