"We are not to mime our way through various loving actions, but we are to love one another deeply. And love means that we live as Christians in our households. If we are unloving, disrespectful, or disobedient there, then all our "kindnesses" elsewhere are manifestations of a hypocritical politeness, and are not love at all....
"The watchword therefore is kindness to those with whom you live -- kindness in the kitchen, kindness in the bedroom, kindness in seeking forgiveness, kindness in extending forgiveness, kindness in letting go of anger, kindness in letting go of bitterness and resentment over the anger of another, kindness in honoring and obeying your parents gladly."
http://dougwils.com/index.asp?Action=Anchor&CategoryID=1&BlogID=1761
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