The problem with the patriarchalist label is the same one with the fundamentalist label.
We MUST hold to the fundamentals of the faith, which the fundamentalists of the early 20th century fought bravely to do. We must also hold to Scriptural patriarchy, where the husband is the head of the home, and exercises that authority positively.
What we may not do is distort and redefine a defense of the fundamentals into a crankiness toward the world, legalism against drinking, smoking or dancing, naive interpretations of Scripture (dictation theory or KJV only), etc.
We also may not distort or redefine God's gift of male leadership into a set of unwritten rules about what women can't do (beyond what Scripture says), allowing men to wield authority abusively or tyrannically in their homes, or giving the head of household more authority than he really has with regard to older children or the Church.
Familial headship authority is not absolute and rigid. A woman may speak and converse with another man or an elder at church, without being viewed askance. (1 Cor 14:34 speaks of interrupting, contradicting and arguing IN the service.) She doesn't always have to go through her head to speak to the church. Though if she always or usually goes around him there is a problem. Familial headship is real and normative and a blessing, but the individual emphasis of 1 Cor 12:27 is also relevant here (granting the ambiguous Greek). The Church ought to formally recognize both familial headship and individual baptism.
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