PG Wooster, Just as he Useter

Bound to your bookseller, leap to your library,

Deluge your dealer with bakshish and bribary,

Lean on the counter and never say when,

Wodehouse and Wooster are with us again.

Flourish the fish-slice, your buttons unloosing,

Prepare for the fabulous browsing and sluicing,

And quote, til you're known as the neighborhood nuisance,

The gems that illumine the browsance and sluicance.

Oh, fondle each gem, and after you quote it,

Kindly inform me just who wrote it.

Which came first, the egg or the rooster?

P.G.Wodehouse or Bertram Wooster?

I know hawk from handsaw, and Finn from Fiji,

But I can't disentangle Bertram from PG.

I inquire in the school room, I ask in the road house,

Did Wodehouse write Wooster, or Wooster Wodehouse?

Bertram Wodehouse and PG Wooster,

They are linked in my mind like Simon and Schuster.

No matter which fumbled in '41,

Or which the woebegone figure of fun.

I deduce how the faux pas came about,

It was clearly Jeeves's afternoon out.

Now Jeeves is back, and my cheeks are crumply

From watching him glide through Steeple Bumpleigh.

Ogden Nash