I'm descending into particulars here, not to legislate detail in a "you're sinning if you do this" way, but to apply some truth right where you live.
Maybe I'm just personally frustrated with the whole enterprise, but it seems there's more to it...

What are your desires and where is your heart when you are facebook-ing?

One of the problems I've noticed with Facebook is the way it carries unhealthy young person interaction (read Flirting) to the web. (I'll save the distinction between healthy and unhealthy for another day.) Avoiding this is easy (in theory), so here's a suggestion. You know how you can initiate something on fb, you write something, then people respond. Well, just don't respond. Only write your own stuff. Responding sends strong signals of "I'm noticing you" to others. Response equals relationship. This is great in most settings, EXCEPT when a guy is trying to get or keep a girl's attention! What kind of relationship is it? Is it appropriate? (Again, lots more to say on that another time.)

Keep fb what it was for originally: letting all your friends know what you're doing/thinking/feeling. Eliminate the "how many people are fans of my idea?" goofiness (guys like group attention) or "who responded to my post?" (girls like to be noticed personally).

Post stuff worth your friends' time, not just to say "notice me!" (Check this comedy out, on that kind of guy.)

Drop FB like a hot rock if you find yourself neglecting the people physically present with you, with whom you are covenantally bound - like say, your parents, spouse, or children.

Okay, that might qualify as rant status, but do you get my point?

I guess if you comment on this, then you're flirting... ha!
Such a connection would be the legalistic mind at work, applying things woodenly across important category lines...


  1. I like the question you have in bold there. Would you say the heart of the matter is summed up in 1 Timothy 5:2, "The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity"?

    I'm confused on what you're saying about not responding to people's posts. Are you specifically dealing with the issue of avoiding singling out someone of the opposite sex? Do you think it's invalid to have close friends of the opposite sex that you notice more than others?

  2. I'm saying opposite sex interactions in the teens years are hard to keep out the realm of the flirtatious. Not impossible. Josh Harris makes that case in I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and I think he's right. There should be interaction, but more mental engagement (discussing books, movies, etc) than personal interest. When the context is facebook, which is inherently personal, it's hard to avoid that "I'm noticing you" communication turning romantic in the receiver's heart.

    Not saying "knock it off," but be careful what you say, where, who's listening, and how what you say might be taken. And then saying, It's hard to contain how what you say might be taken when you correspond on fb. Saying /anything/ when there is relational history will heighten what's already there.

    This is all on inappropriate flirting. If you think there is no such thing, ignore me...

    Again, not meaning to be legalistic, but asking what you're trying to DO on fb...